Pink Wojak, account statement

Everything in his portfolio, explained once It has not changed since 2021, neither has he

01 · OVERVIEWWhat is Pink Wojak

The retail trader who bought the top on his phone in January 2021 and turned pink watching it. He was not drawn, he was screenshotted. Four years later the app he lost on has its own chain, and he is back on it with the same positions, still red, still holding.

The site is his portfolio screen. Everything looks like a 2003 game cutscene because the pain has been rendering at that quality since the buy button went grey.

Character: A low-poly Wojak on the edge of a bed, phone in both hands, colour depends on how far you scroll

Place: A dim bedroom, one bulb, one pizza box, one window he does not open

The format: A brokerage app screen: value, chart, positions, one sell button that never works

Chain: Robinhood Chain, token through the Pons launchpad

02 · LOREJanuary 2021

timeline ├── jan 26 bought the top from the kitchen table, cereal still in the bowl ├── jan 28 the buy button turned grey, the sell button stayed green ├── jan 28 he did not press it, the face went pink, the screenshot went everywhere ├── 2022 averaged down four times, still pink ├── 2025 the app got a chain, he got an address └── now same portfolio, one green position, first in line

03 · PORTFOLIOThe positions

Nine positions. Eight of them are the tokenized stocks and meme names that live on Robinhood Chain, all red. The ninth is the token, the only green row, and the only BUY button in the app that works.

positions ├── GME bought the top, kept the shares ├── NVDA bought after the split, still after ├── TSLA averaged down four times ├── AMC the other one from 2021 ├── SPY was supposed to be the safe one ├── GLD bought gold the day it topped ├── HIMS a friend said it was a sure thing ├── DOGE for the memes, lost like the rest └── $PINKWOJAK Robinhood Chain, the green one

04 · CONTROLSUsing the site

Pinkness: The meter under the chart. It rises as you scroll down the portfolio and the room behind the app turns from green phone light to red, and he turns pink

Sell everything: The pink button. Every press is rejected, counted, and adds pinkness. It has never worked, not once since 2021

Buy buttons: Grey on every position, the app says temporarily disabled. Green on one row only, it opens the Pons launchpad

Notifications: Arrive on their own. Buying disabled, margin call, pattern day trader. None of them are good news

History: Four moments from 2021 to now, click one to open it big, ESC to close

Sound: Quiet until you tap. Your first click anywhere starts a soft piano loop

Order ticket: At the bottom. The contract with a copy button, BUY, X and this page

05 · TOKENToken

The token launches on Robinhood Chain through the Pons launchpad. The contract goes into the order ticket at the bottom of the portfolio and here. Until then both say soon and the copy button says not yet.

CONTRACTsoon

Buy on Pons

Chain: Robinhood Chain, EVM, addresses start with 0x

Launchpad: Pons, ponsfamily.com. Buy opens the launchpad, and the token page once the address is in

Chart: DexScreener on Robinhood Chain once the token is live. He will check it every four minutes

06 · PRIVACYNothing is stored

No backend, no account, no cookies, nothing written to your browser. The portfolio value is a number going down inside the page, the positions are a list, the notifications are a script. Nothing here is a real brokerage and nothing here is financial advice, he would be the last person to give any.

Music: One CC0 piano loop from OpenGameArt, plays after your first tap

Reduced motion: If your system asks for it, the boot screen, the glitches and the room zoom stop, the portfolio still reads

Affiliation: None. Not the app, not the broker, not the meme's author, just the guy

07 · FAQQuestions

Why is everything redHe bought the top of everything. Some people have the gift

Why does the sell button not workIt did not work in 2021 either. He is used to it

Why is he pinkThat is what the screenshot looked like on January 28. It stuck

Is this the real appNo. It is a bedroom with a phone in it, rendered at 2003 quality

What happens at launchThe contract goes into the order ticket, the one green BUY button starts pointing at the token page, everything else stays red